Bulletstorm Full Clip Edition: An old “classic” showing its age
Bulletstorm first released in 2011 for the previous generation of consoles. A recent “Memories” pop-up on Facebook reminded me of the time I was considering buying a new game and wanted people’s opinions on whether to purchase Bulletstorm or not. The answer must have been not because I completed the remastered version on the PlayStation 4 on the last day of February 2019.
PlayStation Plus members can download a couple of games for free each month as part of their subscription. They’re usually a bag of shite, but Sony throws the occasional gem at us in an attempt to keep us paying for online content. Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition was one of the freebies that I thought was worthwhile downloading for free, turns out it isn’t one of the aforementioned gems, although I did enjoy it for the most part.
Bulletstorm: Plot Overview
You take control of Grayson Hunt, the leader of a black ops team known as Dead Echo. Star General Earl Sarrano commands Dead Echo and is a bit of a power-hungry knobhead who has been tricking Hunt and his Dead Echo team into killing innocent civilians. Hunt finds out, he and his team desert Dead Echo to become space pirates on the run from Sarrano’s army.
While not the greatest plot every written, it doesn’t need to be because nothing in Bulletstorm is remotely realistic, nor does it take itself seriously. Those of you hoping for a gritty sci-fi first-person shooter need look away now because you will be bitterly disappointed.
I was unaware of the tongue-in-cheek nature of Bulletstorm when I downloaded it onto my PS4. While I try to read several reviews of new releases – the fuckers cost £50+ these days so I don’t want to buy a shocker – I tend to only perform a quick Google search for the freebies offered with my PS Plus subscription.
Part of the remastering of Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition saw the graphics updated from the original. There is only so much you can do in this department so what you end up with is a game that looks like it may have been released right at the start of the PS4’s life when developers didn’t quite know how to get the most out of the hardware. It’s by no means ugly, don’t get me wrong, but it won’t be winning any awards for the best looking console game.
The often frantic speed of the gameplay is one of the first things you will notice; there’s often a shit ton of things going on at once on your screen. The PS4 can handle all this with ease and I never experienced any real drop in frame rate throughout my entire playthrough.
Bulletstorm: Dick Tits and other niceties
Something else that become apparent, and then tedious, is the dialogue. Imagine a load of jocks (the American sports guys not the dress-wearing dudes with funny accents north of the border) trying their best to be crude, crass and funny. Like Sony’s occasional free gem to PS Plus members, the dialogue sometimes delivers a slither of gold that raises a smile or even a chuckle, yet most of the time you can almost predict the innuendo a character is going to spout. I must admit though, any game that tells me to “suck tears off my dick mudfucker”, called me “dick-tits” or exclaims “shut it retard, I didn’t come down here for more excuses from your cockhole” should be commended.
You discover early in the game there is a ranking system that awards points based on the enemies you kill and how you kill them. Earning more points allows you to purchase ammunition and upgrades for your weapons. You earn more point by performing “skill shots” on enemies; there are 131 different ways to kill them.
Skill Shots vary from shooting off body parts, kicking enemies into razor wire and other similar deadly objects. Each skill shot tends to have a punny name such as pricked, facial, spunk bubble or gangbang (I only made one of those up) and while they can be fun, I never actually tried to collect all 131, but managed more than half of them naturally.
One of the reasons for not completing all the skill shots was there is a lack of variety in both the weapons available to you and enemy types. Sure, you get access to seven or eight guns, each with an alternative fire, but I found myself only using the assault rifle and the almost OP revolver, while the various enemy types all look identical to those in the same class, making it a little grindy and repetitive.
Bulletstorm: Flawed, imperfect but it never pretends to be otherwise
Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition was the perfect game type for me at the time I downloaded it. It was sometimes funny, had some ridiculous set pieces in it such as a giant robotic dinosaur, but more importantly it was perfect for picking up for 20-30 minutes, pissing about, being sworn at then being able to turn it off without worrying you’d forget any storyline or what the fuck had happened.
The game is showing its age now that is for sure and the “humour” isn’t to everyone’s taste, yet it is still worth the £18 or so it costs at Amazon as you’ll definitely have fun at some point, it’s a decent length (see the puns rub off on you, there I go again), and there is nothing else like it on the market today.